În Geneva

I'm still here and haven't had time to write. Today, I'm giving myself half an hour just to chill.
It's been stressful since I arrived on sunday and it's all self inflicted. It needn't be but I'm insane that way. Work can be as easy going as I want it to be but I feel this great need to impress every single person I come across and I know it's just stupid. I know I can do a good job without having to work so hard to impress and worry about what every one thinks of me. I feel that they would think I'm stupid or simple minded or poorly dressed or just a plain looser, if I don't work hard to impress. Actually, I still believe that they think that about me even if......
Anyway, I really should only care about what my client thinks of me, period.
I'm too insecure about myself and it's something I've been trying to work on for the longest time but I don't know why it is so hard to truely believe in my own worth?
Can't sort out my thoughts when I have the time ticking away on the counter. I'll write again when I get back home.

the adult toy store shopping trip i had

So I went to a sex shop yesterday. I called directory assistance and asked for the one nearest my sister's apartment. It wasn't my first time to a sexshop. My first time was with some friends looking for fun things to buy for a bachelorette party. It was, however, my first time shopping for a vibrator. It was just overwhelming. So much to choose from that I couldn't decide. I was also too embarassed to ask the old man behind the counter.

Do I want, smooth or ribbed? Electric or battery operated? Do I want a handsfree strap on? Waterproof or not? Cutesy (There is a Hello Kitty version!) or serious? Double action, with clit stimulation or single action? Straight or curved? Just seeing all those vibrators on the shelf made me so confused and so horny all at once!
There was one which looked really appealing. It looked like it was cast from a mold of a real penis, with some nice looking balls attached! There's a wire attached, with some buttons on a remote device. The descriptions and instructions were all in German so I'm not quite sure what those buttons do. I was close to buying it until I saw the price! Enough money to feed someone in Africa for month!! So I gave up. I left the shop feeling frustrated and horny. It was not a good day.

I'm thinking of asking my sister to go check it out with me tomorrow but I'm not sure how comfortable she would be about going vibrator shopping with me. We're close but not that close. We talk about everything but draw the line at black cock sex. But I guess there is a first time for everything and she should understand that desperate times call for desperate measures.

I think I should also do some research with google before I go again. Never thought buying a vibrator would require research!

Have a good weekend everyone.